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| We went on a snake hunt and weren't disappointed |
The changing of seasons brings me back to childhood. I was always so happy to leave behind the cold and darkness of winter and ready to immerse myself in warmth, color, and, of course, flip flops.
Lately I've been having feelings of nostalgia. I find myself dumpster diving into my past trying to seek out the treasures from the trash. I'm a pack rat of the mind, a hoarder of dates and memories. Some files are true gems and some should have been purged long ago.
My memories are strong and go back since the age of 2 1/2 (crazy, I know). I try not to take it personally when my friends and family don't always remember some of the silly happenings that I do. That doesn't mean they don't hold dear our times together. And maybe it means that I spend too much mental time in the past and am not focused enough on the present.
Usually I feel blessed to be able to recall so many happy times, but the unpleasant memories, though buried a little deeper, are just as vivid.
Sometimes I stumble and trip over the cluttered bits and pieces of yesteryears. I may even temporarily rewrite a memory in my head to give it a happy ending. We all know I am a Happily Ever After girl. Editing memories just makes more clutter to cram into the not-the-way-it-really-happened-but-could-have folder.
I have to be sure not to dwell on the good feeling memories to the point where I get frustrated when times are more challenging. I think my mind has a way of beautifying the good ol' days. Life seemed so simple back when...
I'm pretty sure God allows me to keep my memories for reasons beyond my pleasure. I believe He wants me to share my trials with others, maybe my joys too. He lets me relive my past so I can offer hope to those whose shoes I've walked in. Compassion comes from empathy. Good or bad, there are no wasted memories or experiences.
Disclaimer: Though I may be able to recall my high school locker combinations, I can't for the life of me tell you what I made for supper last night! Needless to say, my memory files need prioritized and organized just as badly as my junk drawer(s).
3 comments:
I'm glad you ditched the housework and took life outside. And went...snake hunting?! That Emmaly is a brave, brave girl. I don't think any of my kids would have any interest in picking up the snakes they found. I know that I wouldn't. [Shudder.]
I know why you have such vivid childhood memories...because I have the worst memory! I need you to be my memory. But, it's really okay for you to drop the not-so-happily-ever-after memories. Because, really, our Happily Ever After just hasn't happened yet, but it's there!
There is a genius behind the way your mind works. All of our phone numbers, ever. I can't remember my phone number from last year in Texas. Really, I can't. Or any of my phone numbers...except for our Etna Green phone number. I do remember that one.
Love you!
j
I agree with you that God wants us to use those memories to have more empathy. I've found that remembering things almost 60 years ago also reminds me of things i do not have to spend so much energy in. Jay Kessler (sp?) once president of Youth For Christ, said, "No one over died of dirty room." NO one ever died of wearing dirty clothes either that i know of. But no adventures, no exploration, no creativity! Aghhhhh!!!!!!!!!! NO snakes? You go girl!
Oh what relief...perhaps I am not Rainman after all! I too have that freakishly weird ability to remember numbers. (Yes, we'd make good identity thieves.) Well, gotta run..."It's definitely time to watch Judge Wapner." (Come on, your uncanny memory should know that line!)
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