The Blessing of Cancer

I guess after two years I'm ready to talk about my journey to restored health. I'm realizing I had been prideful about shrugging off health related questions and saying I'm perfectly fine. Pity and sympathy make me feel weak and it's hard for me to show my vulnerability sometimes. I also don't want to be viewed as a complainer or seem like I dwell on the hardships. Shame on me for not letting people see my weaknesses so they can see what God has done and be glorified.

I've always taken pride in filling out family history charts. Heart disease, diabetes, cancer, stroke, hypertension...big fat check mark in the NO box to all of the above...(gloat much, jamie?) I have felt blessed growing up with healthy parents, grandparents, and even great grandparents.

The summer of 2010 I had a sore throat and as I rubbed my neck, I felt a lump. I figured it had something to do with my throat so I ignored it, outwardly. Inwardly, I had a feeling that I should probably get it checked out. After a couple weeks and a few friendly nudges I obeyed my inner voice went to the doctor. I was sent to have a biopsy to rule out thyroid cancer.

Dr. Good News was confident it was benign. He assured me there was only a 5% chance of it being cancer. So, I was a bit surprised when the diagnosis came back as Papillary Carcinoma, a type of Thyroid Cancer. I was by myself when I got the report. I laughed out loud when Dr. Not So Good News once again gave me statistics: 95% survival rate. "I was already the 5%....to have cancer." He stuttered his way around my remark. (I wonder if he is still giving the statistics? Surely, I'm not the only one who thought it of that.)

The feeling I had was not fear. I can only say it was a peace that passes understanding from the Peace-giver Himself.  I did, however, have the feeling of guilt. I was sad to have to put my husband and children through a trial that was because of me....even if it was out of my control.

After hours of research I felt I knew all about my condition. It showed that the cancer I had was one of the most treatable kind and the prognosis was great. Unlike other cancers, the treatment was surgery then radioactive iodine to kill any remaining thyroid tissue to help prevent the chance of occurrence.

It felt like a whirlwind with the doctors wanting to get the cancer out of my body as soon as possible. One day I'm healthy as a horse and the next day I'm scheduling surgery that will leave me with out my thyroid.

The biggest stress factor was money. Darn that evil necessity. When Court switched jobs a few years ago he was no longer offered health insurance. We played the dangerous game of Coverage Russian Roulette and lost. But God is bigger than that.

Living in a small community people hear of difficulties and rush to comfort and support. We were overwhelmed with the outpouring of love. I still get choked up and teary eyed when I think of the love I was shown. Amazing churches held fundraisers for me and gifts poured in from family and friends and friends of friends. I was so very humbled. More money came in than the cost of doctors and hospital bills (which was a big number!) We felt honored to pass on the blessing to others in need.

I had a few bad side effects from the surgery. The worst was losing my voice for 3+ months. (Although my kids may not agree it being such a bad thing.) I could talk a little more than a whisper. Not being able to sing Christmas songs at Christmas time was torturous. Two months after surgery my doctor told me he was sorry but my voice sounded to be such a severe loss that I would most likely never fully get it back. Devastated at the thought of never singing again, I cried the entire drive home, something I didn't even do when I was diagnosed with cancer. At my next appointment I was thrilled to show Dr. Wrong News he had hope to share with other patients like me. I can no longer sing at the octave I once could and if I'm talking for a long time I will start to get hoarse, but praise God I have my voice back!

love Corbin's photobombing

It took almost a year after my treatment to feel normal again. Some days I feel the tired or jittery feeling and wonder if my meds need readjusted. Or maybe I'm just tired from the busyness of raising six kids. I will keep having blood work every 3 months until I'm where my doc wants me to be. I'm pretty confident I am there. Even though I have to be cancer free for 5 years to be considered completely cured and there are possible challenges down the road, I am hopeful and optimistic.

I know that going through challenges makes us stronger. My experience with cancer hardly seems like a challenge with all the good that I have seen because of it. I am more appreciative of life. I love my family and friends and tell them often. I know that all things work together for good to those called according to His purpose. I would like to say that even if the outcome wasn't good and it was a tougher battle I would feel the same.

Cancer is ugly. Some types are horrible and aggressive and leave our loved ones fighting for life. It's heartbreaking to watch someone deteriorate from this awful disease.  The cancer I had has shown me how strong I can be and how much I am loved. I am grateful. To God be the glory!