I was 18 years old, just graduating high school, when I found myself in a difficult situation, a place I never thought I would be. I was there by my own doing. I had passed the point of no return.
Pregnant.
The judgment I felt was harsh.
To outsiders, I was just another teenage statistic; a careless girl who thought only of herself.
To my family I felt I was an embarrassment. Where did they go wrong raising me that I would choose to defy the morals of my upbringing,
especially one that brought shame and dishonor?
To my friends I was a disappointment. Didn't we make a pact and agree that we were secure
and above the immaturity of premarital sex? Especially knowing that it is wrong and
not in God's plan for us.
To myself...... a failure.
My immediate future no longer included college or even independence. My reputation now had
a stain that could never be erased.
I had hard decisions to make about my future, about my baby's future. Conflicting advice came from our well meaning parents. There were days of denial and days of urgency.
I gave it to Jesus. HE took my disgrace and made beauty from ashes. He showed me that I could never do something so wrong to
lose His love and mercy.
Not only did He open my eyes to Him and His forgiveness, He also blessed me with a husband who loves me and the most precious baby ever (times six)!
My heart is filled with love and compassion for teens who fall from innocence, specifically those with a repentant heart. The fall can be quick like a trip over uneven pavement.
Sometimes we can regain our footing quickly before we crash, while other times we wipe out head first becoming bruised and skinned up wondering what on earth we even tripped over.
No matter how hard we fall, God is there to pick us up, brush off the dirt, kiss the hurt, and wipe away the tears.
If we let him, He takes our mistakes along with the guilt that can destroy us and erases them as if they never existed. Although we are forgiven, there are often scars from our self inflicted imperfections.
But scars can be a sign of beauty, a reminder of where we were and how far we have come, proof that God is the Healer of the broken, and the King of redemption.
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| Bad quality picture but I look like a baby holding my baby! |
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| Still holding my baby. Picture taken by Apryl |
6 comments:
Seems impossible to really experience redemption without messing up - little or big. I'm thankful for His redemption and ultimately for His plan to place you in my life.....baby Boy too!
I love this post. God has been so good to you; your whole life is a testimony to His sweet mercy and redemption. But so is mine! I LOVE the photo Apryl took of you and A. And i love the old one with two babies in it too! xoxo
Beautiful. Every word. And especially the pics. :)
Love this. All of it.
Seems like I always say this, but thanks for sharing, Jamie. This is a beautiful tribute to God's amazing work in our lives.
Love the photos. I like your blog. Your life is full of love.
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