Home Is Where My Heart Is

I have been home for a little more than a week. My time away has taught me so much. I have realized how I like to be in control of everything. It was actually a relief to know that I had absolutely NO control. Weird, eh?! I am not one who likes to be alone. Really, I can't think of a time that I have ever spent a night alone. Ever. Getting married at 18 and having baby after baby doesn't leave room for much solitude. And  I was perfectly content to be surrounded with noise and love. I still am satisfied with minimal alone time. However, God has shown me that in my busyness I am not spending enough alone time with Him. It hit me the first day that I was there that God was gifting me with a week of time to draw me closer to Him without any distractions or responsibilities.
"Teach me to do your will, for You are my God. May your good spirit lead me on level ground." Psalm 143:10

(Did I mention I stayed at a lake house? With a few days in the 80's! Sunshine does wonders to a soul!) My energy level was very low. I slept for 14 hours the first night. My face was a puffy mess. Tears flowed freely from time to time. Tears of sadness, guilt, and relief mingled with tears of joy, thankfulness, and new understanding. I realize as a mom how often I hold back my tears. I don't want to stress my children or husband with my emotions. I am now seeing that as pride. I need to let them see a little more of who I am and that tears aren't a sign of weakness. There were a couple of days that were a little rough. One of those days I knew that I had a sick little guy at home. It was comforting for me to know that my mom was there holding him and not at all concerned that she may get sick herself. I, myself, never felt sick but neither did I feel good.

The outpouring of love I received from family and friends was amazing! The house where I stayed was a friend's mom's house; someone who didn't even know me. She was willing to let a radioactive stranger stay in her beautiful home. I was welcomed by this goody basket from church friends.

My MOPS moms had a card shower for me and and I had cards to open everyday that I was there. (Did I tell you that my tears were regular?) Those moms also supplied me with fruit and veggies. I had a couple friends who brought me food. It was so nice to see people, even if I had to stay 7 ft away. I made a couple new friends as well:

My highlight was Saturday night when Court came and brought pizza. Since we had to stay 7 ft apart it was like dating all over again with my dad in the same room. Even though I would have loved a hug, it was so nice to not be by myself. We decided that we absolutely do not spend enough time together without the kids. Another situation that will change!

(Isn't he a hottie? He just loves getting his pictures taken.)

Now that I am back home I was hoping to jump right back into the swing of life. Little did I know that the swing would be going faster than I am ready for. I still have wonderful support and know that soon enough I will be back on my feet and this time in my life will be but a memory. A good memory. A remembrance of when God opened my eyes to what is important.