Getting Ready for the Miracle

Several years ago I had the privilege of co-directing a church musical called Getting Ready for the Miracle. It is about a girl named Mary who was born on Christmas Day. She doesn't appreciate Christmas shadowing her birthday resulting in a lack of presents. In the end Mary realizes the true meaning of Christmas is not about getting lots of gifts, but about receiving Jesus, God's gift to us.

Is it really so simple? Could we actually put aside the commercialized view of the holiday and just celebrate Jesus? And what does celebrating Jesus look like?

Is it getting together with family and friends, laughing, feasting, and making memories? What about caroling, gift exchanges and traditions passed down from the generations? Those are wonderful things (traditions make my heart sing) but I'm feeling more and more like we are missing the point.

When I hear how many millions of dollars are spent at departments stores each Christmas while there are children starving and dying from preventable diseases and so many others in need, I am grieved. How must Jesus feel?  We are honoring HIS birthday. Shouldn't we spend our time and money on things He desires?

How am I spending my time getting ready for the miracle of Christmas? Am I spending my days lost in the hustle and bustle of shopping and preparing for my parties? Shouldn't I spend more time preparing my heart for Him?

As I rocked my littlest to sleep today, I got emotional (my new middle name) thinking about how Mary must have felt that very first Christmas Day holding her precious Babe. What did she do to prepare for His coming? How did she feel giving birth in a lowly stable? Did she realize the beloved Baby she was holding would be a sacrifice for all people...including her?

As you go about this magical season anticipating the excitement of Christmas morn, be sure to remember the reason we celebrate. Rejoice in knowing that God gave us His only Son, born as a baby, so that we may have eternal life! Never has there been such a gift of love so amazing!

Merry Christmas, my friends! May God bless you with love, fill your hearts with joy and give you true peace!

November in a Nutshell

November came in like a lamb and went out like a lion, a big, growly lion. We were spoiled with temps warmer than I ever remember for this time of year. I'm not sure where the month went. One day it is 11-11-11 (I love days that have quirky numbers!) and the next day it's December. The month snuck (sneaked??  Is it sneaked or snuck?!) by without regard for my desire to leisurely enjoy the holiday season. I'm digging my heels in and holding tight onto the tail of December to try to slow it down a bit.

 I love the look of snow! It tells of cleanness and purity. It hides the depressing dead of late autumn.

However,  I'm not a fan of snow covered ice. We had our first ice/snow storm of the year. We were fortunate to keep our electricity. Some of our neighbors weren't as lucky and were without for 36+ hours. This day also happened to be a memorable one for my sixteen year old.

He scored the coveted ticket of freedom. Well, semi-freedom. He took his driving test while the ice started to fall from the sky. What a brave instructor. I think I would have been cancelling if I were her.  This is what our road looked like when we got home.

Not ideal for a newly licensed driver. Or a seasoned driver.

Faith loves to climb on furniture and see what's going on out the window. She was in awe of the snow.

Baby girl likes to do her own hair too. I appreciate the headbands more than her brother's underwear for hair accessories. She'll dig through clothes baskets to find underwear to put on her head. Should I be concerned?

We celebrated Court's birthday mid-month. Okay, we didn't really celebrate, but we did sing to him (I think) and he got cake.

He's loved. Speaking of love, we also celebrated our 17th anniversary in November. Seventeen years?? I don't know how that is possible when it was just last year that I was 17. Wasn't it?

picture taken by Apryl Deeter

Another highlight of the month was getting to go out with my long time (as in since 4th grade) best friend Sheila. Since she lives in Colorado, we only get to see each other once a year when she comes "home" for a visit. I'm so happy that her husband landed an awesome job 2 hours away and they are moving next summer! How appropriate that our date was going to see a musical!

I had such a good time. And I am all the more wiser now since she taught me how an expert orders at a coffee shop!

For one reason or another it has taken over a week to finish this silly little post, from internet problems to busyness to forgetfulness.

So long, noviembre! (Isn't it bizarre that months aren't capitalized in Spanish??) Your holiday is one of my very favorites. Although this year it seemed to come and go without big fanfare, my heart is overflowing with thankfulness. 

I'm looking forward to all December has to offer. And of course celebrating the true meaning of the season. 

It's easier to spread Christmas cheer when you are dressed the part. 

Bring on the jingle bells!

Self Discipline

I was asked to speak on discipline at MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers). I'm speaking along with two other ladies. My portion is on self-discipline. If that isn't a laugh! I am so undisciplined in several areas. Me being asked to talk about and give advice on self-discipline is like asking my 18 month old to explain why markers are used for drawing on paper.

 An example of lack of discipline:  Last Thursday I was sick with a cold and sinus infection. (I'm still battling the infection...I'm determined to get over it without a doctor's visit.) I woke up feeling that I had been smacked in the head with a bat. But there are no sick days in Mommyhood. Most of my everyday duties got accomplished. Kids were fed, homeschooling supervised, laundry somewhat done, toddler messes picked up, no one had to get stitches.....and the reward was bedtime. However, no dishes got washed. I have a hate relationship with washing dishes. With a family of eight, washing dirty dishes is ne.ver.end.ing. Not having a dishwasher for over a year (because of electrical issues) has been unpleasant to say the least! *Don't take this as whining and ungratefulness because I feel so blessed to have running water and a house full of little people.* So, the dishes didn't get done, oh well. Then Friday came and I was feeling better but not great. My kids were at Friday School, so it was just me and my littlest. I got a few chores done but I closed my eyes to the mountain of dirty dishes. Maybe if I didn't see them they would go away. It was more fun to be lazy have snuggle time with my baby then get my hands pruney in dishwater. Earlier in the week my wonderful, jack-of-all-trades brother-in-law fixed my electrical problem and we were getting a dishwasher! I knew this in the back of my mind which is a little of the reason I let the stinky, crusty dishes set in the sink, on the counter top, and stove. Friday came and went with dishes undone.

 The only thing worse than washing dishes is waking up to a kitchen overtaken by dirty
bowls and plates and glasses and mugs and pots and pans. There was not one piece of clean silverware. Cooking was almost impossible. (The grossness of all of this is not lost on me.) I knew that Saturday afternoon we were getting the much anticipated new appliance! Just a few more hours of shielding my eyes from the embarrassing sight of the kitchen. I know some of you are thinking that I have several big kids who could/should be doing dishes.

Yes, they should and they do. But their school workload has been so full lately that I haven't been making them. And for some reason they don't volunteer to in their little free time.

Because of busyness we didn't end up getting the dishwasher until late Saturday evening. I was very excited to see it hooked up and doing its business. But... we didn't quite have everything it took for it to be hooked up (sigh) so I had to wait until after church on Sunday. Are you counting the days? That would be day FOUR of only washing a dish here and there to get by. After an hour of Hubby and Austin installing the beauty we turn it on and NOTHING!! ?!?!? The outlet quit working again. This old house has problems. (Hopefully not dangerous complications....electricity can be scary.) After 3+ hours of washing dishes by hand my husband comes in the house with an extension cord. Wha? What? You mean I spent over 3 hours with my hands drowning in hot, soapy water scouring dried on food when we could have plugged it in somewhere else? WAIT! You mean I could have had a dishwasher 13 months ago and just plugged it into another outlet?!

I would have been more than happy to wind up a cord after every use. Why did I not think of that? We are having the outlet looked at again but in the meantime you will not hear one complaint from me about tripping over a heavy duty cord that rests across the kitchen floor. The point of this story is if I was more self disciplined I would have washed those dirty dishes right away instead of waiting until I was ready to move out and leave all dishes behind. Housekeeping isn't the only thing that takes an extra dose of self discipline for me. I like sleeping in. No, I LOVE sleeping in. My bed is so soft and cozy and warm. It begs me not to leave. It whispers promises of comfort and sweet dreams.

I don't like to disappoint. When it asks me to stay for just 5 more minutes, I almost always comply. Today I have decided to end the relationship. When my queen-size love dressed in king-sized clothing insists I spend "just a little longer" wrapped in its coziness, I will resist. Maybe not all mornings but most. I'm telling you this because I need accountability. Go ahead. Give me a call at 8:00. I'll be downstairs and ready for the day. Today instead of pulling the covers over my head when Court got up, I got up too. It felt good to see him off to work and to have a bit of alone time before the house awakened with the noise of laughing, crying, yelling, singing, stomping, clapping and all the other sounds of the Bitting house. I'm taking the challenge of self-discipline. I know it won't be easy.  "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." Hebrews 12:11  I want my children to reap the rewards of being self-disciplined. I want to be a good example.
                 So, I'm dying to know.....how do you stay self-disciplined??

Remembering

Fifteen years....it seems like a life time ago and like just yesterday. I was sitting at the kitchen table at my parents house when a police car pulled in the drive. It was 8:00 pm. My life would never be the same again. She was gone; my friend, one of the best I ever had. And with her went her daughter, my sweet niece, Mikayla Jo, only two years old. A horrific car accident had ended their time on earth. Erica wasn't just my childhood friend, she was my brother's wife. She left behind my brother and their 10 month old son. And me. I felt so lost, so alone. We were sisters, not just by law but by heart. How could God call them home when I wasn't ready for them to go?? Didn't He know I needed them here? How could He take a mother from her nursing baby and a wife from her adoring husband? Their life together had only just begun. And precious Mikayla with her long dark hair and blue/gray eyes, didn't God realize her daddy needed her here more than her Father needed her in Heaven? My kids would never know their cousin or their aunt. But worse, my nephew wouldn't know his mommy or his sister. He wouldn't remember his mom's loving embrace or the sound of her beautiful voice. He would never get to play make believe with his sister or pester her the way all little brothers do. My brother wouldn't get to teach his daughter how to ride a bike or walk her down the aisle. How did God think OUR family could handle such a loss?? I struggled with these questions for months; long, dark months. I knew that God was faithful. I still didn't understand. I watched as my brother was told that his life had been torn apart. My heart was completely broken. He was so strong. I clung to him and he said, "Jamie, God has a plan." His world had just crumbled around him and he didn't waiver in his faith. As hard as it was to accept the new path, God did have a plan. I mourned for years the loss of my sister. I wished for time to speed up so the hurt would go away and longed for time to stand still so I could hear her laughter and see her face. I didn't want to forget one single memory. The depression I fell into wasn't healthy. It may not have even been outwardly noticeable. But it was there, an unwelcome companion. It was hard to be happy. I felt I was betraying Erica by having fun and getting on with life. Sometime during my mourning I was hit with the realization that I was mourning like I had no hope. And I DID have hope. Erica was saved. She loved Jesus and gave her life to him. I have hope because of God's promises.  ".....do not grieve like the rest of mankind who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.." 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 "For it is my Father's will that whoever looks to the Son and believes in him will have eternal life." John 6:40 Of course John 3:16. God's wonderful promises and amazing hope! I will see Erica again! And Mikayla and Lessli (another dear friend gone from a car accident) and my baby whom I never got a chance to hold and all my other loved ones who have passed from this world and have proclaimed Jesus as Lord. What about you? Do you know the Lord? Can you rest in the assurance of eternal life?
     There is nothing more difficult than losing a loved one but life does go on. My brother met and married a wonderful, Christian women who is so good for him and loves my nephew like he is her own. He is her own. Erica wouldn't want it any other way. She would have wanted her son to love and be loved by a new mommy and not be torn by loyalty to her, his birth mom. He has grown into an amazing young man, quite handsome too, I must say. Sometimes I am blown away by how much his looks and mannerisms remind me of Erica. I feel so blessed to be able to watch him grow and see a part of Erica that still lives on.
     Every year as the leaves start to change their colors and the autumn wind forces me to trade in my short sleeves for sweatshirts I am brought back to October 4, 1996. I let the tears come as I remember our last minutes together, not knowing that when I hugged her goodbye it meant I'll see you in Heaven. Had I known, our embrace would have lasted longer. I would have told her all that she meant to me. Although I'm sure she knew. Afterall, we grew up together. She knew all my secrets (and loved me anyway). I don't wallow in the sorrow for long. I thank God for allowing Erica and Mikayla to be a part of my life and for sparing my sweet nephew's life as he was also in the accident that claimed his mommy and big sister. I thank God for all the blessings He has bestowed on my family. Mostly, I thank Him for His promises.

Pigtails, Parades and Prayers

I just love that mischievous little face. And pigtails on a tot....be still my heart.

I can't get enough of sweet, little bare legs and shoeless toes. I'm guessing the days of bareskinned babies are becoming few and far between. And just maybe gone altogether. I'm almost accepting. After all, summer is about to pass her winning crown on to autumn. I'm not anti-fall, I just want to let summer have her final moments in all her glory. Let her take her last walk with dignity. And if autumn would share the stage with summer for a while longer I would welcome her orange colors and breezy days all the more!

One of the first signs of the new season to me is the Apple Festival. I love a small town gala! *I feel like I have to say this in every post.....these pictures were all taken with my phone. So, excuse the quality! Especially a couple of the blurry ones that I just couldn't leave out!*

Getting ready to watch the parade.

Do you want to know the secret to scoring big on candy during a parade? Sit at the front of the parade route. Holy cow, they got candy! I'm a mean mom that makes them combine all the goodies. No filling your pockets and your own bags, all the candy in one bag. Not because of fairness but because I want control over the candy jar. Okay, maybe a little bit because of fairness. I am a middle child, after all.

So is she. She would like to do everything her big sisters do. She doesn't think there should be different bedtimes or other rules that make her life less fun.

Cousin A driving his dream 

This was the guy who was a finalist on America's Got Talent last year. He did a good job and was such a nice guy. He invited one of Austin's friends to ride with him during a show after seeing how well he rode. It was refreshing to see a "famous" person willingly share the limelight.

Emmaly with the 2 bikers

What you can't see in this picture is E's little head wound..... Court and I rarely go out on dates. (Something I REALLY want to change!) We left the 3 little ones with Kodi. She does a great job and I can't complain about her rate. (free!) :-) About 45 minutes after we left we got a phone call from her that Emmaly's head was bleeding and Kodi was sure she needed stitches.  I called my brother who lives 2 miles away to go check on her until I could get home. When I got here here's what awaited me:

What do you think, stitches or not? I knew it needed something and was really not wanting to spend another 3 hours in the ER for the second time in one week. (Kidney stones are a pain, just ask Hubby.) I called our family doctor (whom I LOVE!) and asked what he thought of me trying to glue a smallish head wound that could probably use stitches. He gave me the okay since it wasn't deep and was done bleeding. I went to the store to buy Dermabond with no success. I called him back and he said Krazy glue would be fine. He told me how to glue it and said he would even meet me at the office (It was after 8:00 pm) if I needed his help or if the glue didn't work. Did I tell you I love this doctor? The glue worked enough. I'm sure staples would have made a smaller scar but it will be covered by hair anyway. I'm sure you are wondering how she got that lovely groove. She was the victim of her little brother's retaliation. It involved a wooden block and a curve-ball-pitch.

These two fight? It doesn't even look possible. :-) Corbin has gotten every toy in the house taken away. He gets to earn them back. Funny thing.....this afternoon I spotted him playing with two batteries. Have you ever heard a Duracell rev it's engine? Who says we need matchbox cars? Emmaly kissed him on the cheek as he took a rare nap today and whispered, "I forgive you for hurting my head." Melt a momma's heart, why dontcha?

Also heart melting is what I saw this morning in church. Our church had the honor of having it's services at the Apple Festival. 

There is just something about worshipping together outside in the crisp air under a tent. Even with my attention being divided between Pastor Tom's God-breathed words and making sure Faith wasn't spilling my hot apple cider, my heart was filled with the Spirit. 

We have some awesome spirit-filled teens in our church and I'm blessed that 3 of them live under my roof. (see, how can I not share this picture even in all it's blurriness?)

It has been a long week with getting in the routine of school, sick husband, volleyball and basketball games, meetings, shopping, town festivities along with all the work it takes to keep a household functioning. I'm tired just thinking about it. Or maybe I'm tired because it is 1:30 am. My me-time has come to an end. I should have been in bed long ago so I am ready to get up and do it all over again. May my spent time be glorifying to you, Lord.

God is Our Refuge

My heart is hurting for a friend. There are no words for unexpected tragedies, especially when a child is involved. I've been holding my little ones closer. (My big ones too.) Why must it sometimes take real life nightmares for our eyes to be opened to what is important in life? Why does it take a loss to see all the blessings we have to lose? My sense of security is shaken, but not my faith.

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea. Psalm 46:1-2

Judge Not

If you would have looked down my pew this morning in church this is what you would have seen.

Maybe you would be appalled to see a teenage boy on his phone during service. (Or worse... to see the mom taking pictures during the sermon!) If you would take a closer look you would see that he's not playing a game or texting. He's following along with Pastor Tom on a Bible app.

 

It was hard for me at first to let them use their phones during church. Them, as in all three teenagers. After all, what kind of mom do I look like letting my kids have phones out during worship?? And what kind of ill-behaved teens can't leave their phones put away for an hour? 

But after months of thinking about it I realize the only thing holding me back from letting them read the Bible on their phones during church is the way it looks to others. Shame on me. I'm trying to teach my kids not to judge others by the way they look or act and I'm doing that very thing. Well, today I forgot my Bible at home. I joined my kids and got out my phone. (As you can see because I snapped some inconspicuous pictures too. I'm thankful for my muted shutter release.) I love having the Bible on my phone. Genius idea! It even has red lettering for words spoken by Jesus. And I can read the text in any version I'd like. 

I'd still rather read my leather bound Bible but my kids are welcome to read the Word of God in whatever form they'd like.

 Here is a picture of E and F on the way home from church. E has a Bible in her pocket. (Not sure why F is holding a pen??)  We are blessed to live in a country where we are free to worship and have a variety of different ways to read or listen to the scripture!

Beautiful Day

My day started chaotic and crazy, mostly because I was too tired to face it with both eyes open. My own fault. I stay up too late in the evenings. I can't help myself. I love this time of day! I love knowing all my family is home safe and sound. I also love that they are all tucked in, sound asleep! It is the time of day when I can do something... anything uninterrupted. I can eat a snack guilt free without little beggars. Don't get me wrong, I love my little beggars but they can eat their bowls of cereal in the morning. Mommy likes cereal after the sun goes down.

This little girl keeps me on my toes!

She has "mischief-maker" written all over that sweet face. I'm thinking she learns from the best.

I need to keep my eyes on him, more so than most. He is always coming up with new ways to have fun; in other words, make a mess or create an accident-in-the-making. He has now learned how to do wheelies on his bike. Needless to say, he has bandaids on both elbows and one knee.

This cry lasted for all about 20 seconds. I snapped the picture and he opened his eyes and said, "Erase it." It cracked me up. And I couldn't do it. He said, "You're not putting that on facebook." Then I was really laughing. To be fair, facebook means the computer/ internet to him. I promised him I wouldn't put it on facebook. :) Emmaly, the sweet sister that she is, fixed him right up. An ace bandage heals all wounds.

I feel like I am making real progress in my desire to have an uncluttered life. I will share about that sometime. I  woke up this morning with the feeling of chaos and being overwhelmed. After my day of realization and understanding, I have a new perception of chaos. It was a beautiful day! 

Home Is Where My Heart Is

I have been home for a little more than a week. My time away has taught me so much. I have realized how I like to be in control of everything. It was actually a relief to know that I had absolutely NO control. Weird, eh?! I am not one who likes to be alone. Really, I can't think of a time that I have ever spent a night alone. Ever. Getting married at 18 and having baby after baby doesn't leave room for much solitude. And  I was perfectly content to be surrounded with noise and love. I still am satisfied with minimal alone time. However, God has shown me that in my busyness I am not spending enough alone time with Him. It hit me the first day that I was there that God was gifting me with a week of time to draw me closer to Him without any distractions or responsibilities.
"Teach me to do your will, for You are my God. May your good spirit lead me on level ground." Psalm 143:10

(Did I mention I stayed at a lake house? With a few days in the 80's! Sunshine does wonders to a soul!) My energy level was very low. I slept for 14 hours the first night. My face was a puffy mess. Tears flowed freely from time to time. Tears of sadness, guilt, and relief mingled with tears of joy, thankfulness, and new understanding. I realize as a mom how often I hold back my tears. I don't want to stress my children or husband with my emotions. I am now seeing that as pride. I need to let them see a little more of who I am and that tears aren't a sign of weakness. There were a couple of days that were a little rough. One of those days I knew that I had a sick little guy at home. It was comforting for me to know that my mom was there holding him and not at all concerned that she may get sick herself. I, myself, never felt sick but neither did I feel good.

The outpouring of love I received from family and friends was amazing! The house where I stayed was a friend's mom's house; someone who didn't even know me. She was willing to let a radioactive stranger stay in her beautiful home. I was welcomed by this goody basket from church friends.

My MOPS moms had a card shower for me and and I had cards to open everyday that I was there. (Did I tell you that my tears were regular?) Those moms also supplied me with fruit and veggies. I had a couple friends who brought me food. It was so nice to see people, even if I had to stay 7 ft away. I made a couple new friends as well:

My highlight was Saturday night when Court came and brought pizza. Since we had to stay 7 ft apart it was like dating all over again with my dad in the same room. Even though I would have loved a hug, it was so nice to not be by myself. We decided that we absolutely do not spend enough time together without the kids. Another situation that will change!

(Isn't he a hottie? He just loves getting his pictures taken.)

Now that I am back home I was hoping to jump right back into the swing of life. Little did I know that the swing would be going faster than I am ready for. I still have wonderful support and know that soon enough I will be back on my feet and this time in my life will be but a memory. A good memory. A remembrance of when God opened my eyes to what is important.