Then there are the days I turn off the lights and pretend no one is home. It's not that I don't want Him in. I really do. But it seems that He wants more than to come in and make Himself cozy. He wants to walk around and rearrange the furniture of my heart. He goes to the dark places that I keep hidden behind curtains because there just isn't enough time to clean. Maybe I'm not ready to clean or I just don't know where to start.
I look around inside these walls and wonder how I let it get so out of order. He holds my hand as I dig through the litter. Why is it hard for me to get rid of clutter? He patiently shakes His head no when I ask, "Can't I just keep this one thing?" He doesn't pressure me to let go, but I know to my core that by holding on to it I will miss the blessings He has waiting for me.
I feel the rawness of being exposed and the pain of giving up something I want to keep. I also feel God's grace and mercy as He holds me assuring me that my obedience will be rewarded.
Rearrange my heart, Lord. It's yours.
5 comments:
What a BRAVE prayer to pray! Beautifully, written, J. Thank-you for sharing your heart here out in the cold public blog forum! I know that you are blessing others (me!) who are also feeling God asking for more than just "visitor" status.
xoxo
p.s.
Love the evolution of an Easter portrait. (I can't stop looking at Corbin's little black eye. I'm so sorry for having croquet balls within Faith's reach!)
jlf
Beautiful Jamie! You are a blessing to all who know you, and I'm glad to be one. Mom B
You have such a wonderful way of painting a picture with words. I so gladly give Him my heart, hurts, and dark corners. My problem is leaving them with Him. So I am constantly taking them back and trying to fix it myself.
Hi Jamie...this was a beautiful read! I have been reflecting on a devotion I read this week that said most of us sleepwalk through life until there is something that snaps us awake and changes our perspective. Keep living your life in the light of His perspective! Call you this week sometime...luv you!
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