My list of annoyances was long and my temper was short. Annoyances such as catching my little tattoo/graffiti artist with yet another marker, finding the self proclaimed nudist had escaped out the back door for the second time in 20 minutes, discovering important papers had fell victim to the craft table with butter as the fingerpaint, sibling squabbles, messy house, dawdling students, ungrateful attitudes, laundry piles... I was grumbly. I was not wearing my #1 MOM shirt. There could be a reason I don't own one.
Most days I am content, even happy, to be where I have been called in life. Being a mom to six little and not so little people is my career of choice. Though I've never questioned where I am suppose to be, I sometimes wonder if there is something more I could being doing. I feel my job is to be the caretaker of my family, to love and serve them. I fail everyday. My selfish wants and attitude are a stumbling block of who I want to be. Days like today I have to look hard to find the fun in being a stay home mommy, even though there is nowhere else I would rather be.
I often feel inadequate in motherhood. Shouldn't I have went to college for this? At least a trade school. There should be a book on how to look successful while wearing yogurt in your hair and snot on your shoulder. Maybe the success is surviving it and being able to look back and smile.
I know sometimes my days may seem tedious. Occasionally I feel unappreciated, unnoticed, and unwanted. But life is an adventure and the love I have for my kids far outweighs my pity party. Time will rescue me from trying two year olds and the challenging teen years, but it will also take with it piggy tails, hide-n-seek, dandelion bouquets and loud music. I'm not ready to give those up. So, I will embrace my days of sticky fingers, dirty walls and popsicle kisses.