Tuesday, May 31, 2011

4 Eyes X 2

I was hoping that my kids would all get their dad's good eye sight. After all, they got my good looks. (Kidding, kidding.) I got my glasses in the 8th grade...the age right between where Dakota and Brooklyn are now. I remember walking out of the eye clinic and being able to see individual leaves on trees and clouds that had shapes and weren't just blobs. I had a suspicion that D needed glasses. She was all squinty when trying to read a sign from afar. I was a bit surprised, however, that B needed them too. They were both delighted about having to get them. Honestly, what teenager isn't? We all might say we don't want them and what a bother they are, but you know deep down it is kind of exciting to be able to change our appearance. Or as B said, "add to our accessories."
The doctor said that both of them do not have to wear their glasses all of the time. Optional glasses? It doesn't get better than that. I remember a time when it was the same for me. Now, if I'm not wearing my glasses I can't tell a chicken from a duck. (Personal experience.)
I have a feeling that the newness will eventually wear off and I will resort to a nagging mom, reminding them to not forget their glasses. I could be wrong.
 They may like the scholarly look. 
But if they are anything like me there will be contact lenses in their future.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Home Is Where My Heart Is

I have been home for a little more than a week. My time away has taught me so much. I have realized how I like to be in control of everything. It was actually a relief to know that I had absolutely NO control. Weird, eh?! I am not one who likes to be alone. Really, I can't think of a time that I have ever spent a night alone. Ever. Getting married at 18 and having baby after baby doesn't leave room for much solitude. And  I was perfectly content to be surrounded with noise and love. I still am satisfied with minimal alone time. However, God has shown me that in my busyness I am not spending enough alone time with Him. It hit me the first day that I was there that God was gifting me with a week of time to draw me closer to Him without any distractions or responsibilities.
"Teach me to do your will, for You are my God. May your good spirit lead me on level ground." Psalm 143:10
(Did I mention I stayed at a lake house? With a few days in the 80's! Sunshine does wonders to a soul!) My energy level was very low. I slept for 14 hours the first night. My face was a puffy mess. Tears flowed freely from time to time. Tears of sadness, guilt, and relief mingled with tears of joy, thankfulness, and new understanding. I realize as a mom how often I hold back my tears. I don't want to stress my children or husband with my emotions. I am now seeing that as pride. I need to let them see a little more of who I am and that tears aren't a sign of weakness. There were a couple of days that were a little rough. One of those days I knew that I had a sick little guy at home. It was comforting for me to know that my mom was there holding him and not at all concerned that she may get sick herself. I, myself, never felt sick but neither did I feel good.
The outpouring of love I received from family and friends was amazing! The house where I stayed was a friend's mom's house; someone who didn't even know me. She was willing to let a radioactive stranger stay in her beautiful home. I was welcomed by this goody basket from church friends.
My MOPS moms had a card shower for me and and I had cards to open everyday that I was there. (Did I tell you that my tears were regular?) Those moms also supplied me with fruit and veggies. I had a couple friends who brought me food. It was so nice to see people, even if I had to stay 7 ft away. I made a couple new friends as well:
My highlight was Saturday night when Court came and brought pizza. Since we had to stay 7 ft apart it was like dating all over again with my dad in the same room. Even though I would have loved a hug, it was so nice to not be by myself. We decided that we absolutely do not spend enough time together without the kids. Another situation that will change!
(Isn't he a hottie? He just loves getting his pictures taken.)

Now that I am back home I was hoping to jump right back into the swing of life. Little did I know that the swing would be going faster than I am ready for. I still have wonderful support and know that soon enough I will be back on my feet and this time in my life will be but a memory. A good memory. A remembrance of when God opened my eyes to what is important.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Here I Go

Tomorrow is the big day. I'll be on my own for SEVEN days. It's not the vacation I had in mind. But it is what God has in store and I will accept it for what it is and what it can be. It is a time I need to be away to heal from this ugly disease. I will take this time to relax without guilt. I will read novel after novel and watch sappy movies and nap when I start to feel sleepy. I will eat chocolate for breakfast, ice cream for lunch and donuts for dinner. (Ok. Maybe not. But after my diet restrictions are up on Thursday I will be adding those food items!) I will drink my own bottle of soda without sharing a single swig! I will come home refreshed as a                          mom and a wife.

                                                          I will miss my people!!

                And I surely don't have favorites but I think some may miss me more than others.

And one may miss me the most of all.

Speaking of that one.......look who started walking today:

She has been walking little steps from here to there for over a month. But she would still rather crawl. Now I'm going to come home to a baby who walked her way right into toddlerhood. Without permission, mind you. She was so proud she gave herself a round of applause. 

As much as I will miss my family I know they are being taken care of. My biggest desire is to rest in the Lord's arms and in His word as I spend my time reflecting on His will for my life. I want to be exactly where He wants me to be. 

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Locks of Love

Emmaly has been wanting a haircut for sometime. I can't really give one specific reason why I have been dragging my feet to let her. Usually it's the daddy that wants his little girls to have long hair...not the daddy in this family. He likes his girls (and wife) to have shorter hair. My biggest concern was that my little girl would look all grown up. I love(d) her hair in long braids; Laura Ingall's style. She did too. But truth is, her hair was neglected by me. It would break my heart a bit on hectic Sunday mornings when we are all trying to get ready for church I would hear her go from sister to sister to dad asking for someone to put her hair in braids or bows or a ponytail. I would tell myself that next time I would be ready earlier so I can make E feel special by spending extra (ha ha) time on her hair. Then Easter Sunday came. As we were all walking out the door, I noticed her sloppy up do and realized I had failed. I asked the girls to do their best to smooth it down on the way to church. But I felt guilty. Hey, at least we were all showered. I think. I then decided that I would let her get her haircut. She really needed a good trim anyway. We weren't sure what style but she knew she wanted it short like her cousin Lily's. When the hairdresser said that if she went a couple inches shorter she could donate to locks of love, she knew exactly that is what she wanted to do.
Forgive the quality of these photos. The beauty shop has tricky lighting. Hmmm......

See. What did I tell you. All grown up. Maybe not ALL grown up but, my goodness, she looks like she could pass for an 8 yr old. :-) I need to hang on to these last few months of seven!
What? So you get a haircut and that makes you no longer able to giggle during pictures? Old girl now, I tell ya. What has momma done?
Ok, ok. I'll take that teehee with a side of snicker-snort!! I love her new cut! I don't think it could be any cuter! And I will enjoy my SEVEN year old all summer long!!