Please Love Me Anyway

I have a confession. I really don't have it all together. I'm sure that shocks close friends and especially my family. :)

Right now I have 287 unread emails. Hopefully nothing is important. I just can't bring myself to scroll and delete. It takes too much brain power to decide do I want to read this or do I just check the box and erase sight unseen. So they just keep adding up. You probably shouldn't correspond to me that way if you need a response sooner than a month out.

Then there is the phone. I can not always bring myself to answer it. I hear it ring but my talking energy is just not there. My voice mail should say, "Please hang up and text." Know that I am not ignoring you (well....not usually). Besides I don't think I can have an uninterrupted conversation. They usually go something like this: "Hello? Oh, hi, Susie. I'm so happy you called.......Faith, where did you find that marker?.......So, how are you? I haven't heard from you since..........Corbin, get down from there, you're going to break your neck.............Anyway, I'm glad that have some free time to...............Girls, no piano, I'm on the phone............So, I hear that you have been...........Austin, turn your music down and turn the station while you're at it..........No, it's okay, I can talk, I'm not busy.................Emmaly, take your scissors away from Faith and please find her clothes she took off..........Listen, Susie, maybe it would be better if I called  you at another time....." And then sometimes I don't call back. I'm sorry. Please don't unfriend me.

Let's not even talk about thank you notes. I am so incompetent. I am very appreciative but lack the ability to write it out. Even worse are the thank you notes I do write out but never make it to the mailbox. After awhile it's past the proper thank-you note time etiquette. I should send sorry notes. "I'm sorry that I did not send you your much deserved thank you card. Please forgive me."

I am also the most indecisive person you will meet. Sometimes it is because I really don't care. Paper or plastic? Whatever. Surprise me. I know this drives some friends and family absolutely crazy. That is not my intention (though it may amuse me a bit). I hate being the one who breaks the tie of where to go eat or decide which shoe looks better. If I say I don't know or don't care, I'm telling the truth. A real conversation with my husband on going out:
Him: "Where do you want to go?"
Me: "I don't care. Where do you want to go?"
Him: "You pick.What are you hungry for?"
Me: "I don't know. Anything sounds good."
This will irritate him enough to cancel our good time. True story.

You will not find live plants in my house. I can not keep them green. I'm neglectful. I don't even realize it until the oxygen giving decor is brown and crispy and past the point of revival. Then I mourn a stupid plant that I didn't like to begin with.

And my house cleaning skills....ugh. Come over unannounced and you will see what I mean. Actually, come over announced and you still might see what I'm talking about. Family must think baskets of clean, unfolded clothes are a part of our dining room ensemble.

We have lived here 6 years and I am still looking at the wallpaper and borders that I hate. I may even have a box or two unpacked. My bathroom window covering is the Amish curtains that came with the house.

So, you ask what I do all day? Uh...I don't know. Something, I'm sure, but my memory is lacking right now too.

I think there really is a perfectionist inside me keeping me from accomplishing EVERYTHING  tasks that I know need done. She whispers words like "Don't even start a job that you can't finish to perfection." And I'm also pretty sure the procrastinator in me has a black belt in karate. She is the rule maker and breaker. Oh and also, she's lots of fun.

So, you couple people (you know who you are), who think I must have it all together because I have six kids and am not crazy (truly a matter of opinion), come hang out here or interview my children. Your mind will be changed.....but please love me anyway!



P.S. Doesn't this make a great job resume?